Miscarriage (chapter 2)

Hari tu saya cakap saya nak buat D&C last Monday. So ape ceritanya?

Monday morning:
We went to Hospital Serdang. Mula - mule pergi OB/GYN terus pastu the lady at receptionist cakap we need to go straight to emergency (sebab dah bleeding). Its not that far but considering I'm bleeding and my MILand FIL ada, kesian juga tengok both of them had to walk.Sampai sana, orang dekat registration tuh asked us to go back to OB/GYN. Tapi, my FIL & MIL cakap yang kitorang dah pergi sana tadi and was asked to go here. Nak tanak, they had to accept us. 10 minutes later, my husband and I was asked to go into the wad dekat belakang  and duduk atas katil. Lepas amek BP, Dr. Shila ni datang and attend saya. She did a scan and also check to see whether my pintu rahim dah buka ker belum. Dia cuba refer to OB/GYN balek tapi sangat - sangat lama nak dapatkan mereka. Lepas sejam setengah, Dr Shila ni came back and asked me whether I wanted to do the D&C atau passed the baby naturally. Either way, akan ambil masa 3 - 4 weeks kalau nak buat di Hospital Serdang ni. So, lepas tu, buat appointment untuk 2 minggu lagi, and balek.

Monday Afternoon.
Lepas balek hospital, FIL saya belanja makan kat kedai mamak yang sedap.Later on, after sending our parents, my husband and I decided to go back home and rest. Sampai je, terus call Az-zahrah untuk schedule D&C next morning. Alhamdulillah, dapat.
Lepas tu masa tengah tidur, rasa macam cramp yang sangat teruk, lagi teruk dari period paid. Encik Botak kasi panadol activefast sebab dia kesian tengok saya sakit sangat. Lepas tu, mula - mula batuk a few times. Setiap kali batuk, rasa macam ade something keluar kat bawah. Cepat - cepat bangun, tengok macam ade blod clot/flesh. Terus panggil my husband. We put it dalam bekas, in case doktor nak tengok. Then, lepas tu baring balek sebab sakit sangat. And then, the same pain occured and I felt like something tarik kat dalam. Sakit sangat - sangat. Everytime pergi toilet, nampak macam flesh keluar. After the forth time, baru laa keluar banyak. And this time, my husband cakap, itu uri baby. Rasa sedih sangat masa tuh :(. Around 5 pm, I felt so much better compared to before. Rasa macam tak sakit dah. Kaki dan tangah pun dah tak bisa- bisa macam the day before. Probably sebab semua dah turun.

Monday Night
We went to Azzahrah and Dr. Suriyanti (cantik tau doctor ni, my husband cakap) scan and tgk kat dalam my rahim to check whether I've passed everything. When she said, its a complete miscarriage, I felt so relieved. I don't want to do the D&C. :( I'm scared actually after listening to what Dr Shila said earlier. But, we still need to see our gynae next morning to double confirm that we're done with this miscarriage processs. I just want it to be done with.

Tuesday Morning.
We returned to Azzahrah and went straight to see our Gynae. Another round of intraveaginal scan was done on me. Semalam, Dr. Suriyanti tuh guna torch light kot nak tengok whether everything is clean. This time, my gynae, Dr. Fazlina guna satu alat yang agak menyakitkan tapi mungkin lebih detailed sebab boleh nampak clearly my rahim. Rupa - rupanya, ade tissue yang tinggal around 12 mm. Dia cakap ini tengah - tengah, tak banyak, tak sikit. Kalau dalam 8 mm, no need for D&C. Kalau 16 mm, dia insist untuk cuci juga. I decided that I want to wait up for another week. Kalau ade lagi next week, then we do the D& C. My husband said this is my choice. Its my body. Dr. Fazlina prescribed me with an antibiotic, takut ade infection.

So now, I'm resting at my in-laws. The last few days, mesti akan sakit, cramp macam period pain. Rasanya lagi sakit dari period pain. Ramai yang cakap, cuci je rahim tuh. The truth is, not only I'm scared of the pain but also the risk of doing it. Scarring especially because its a procedure where the doc/gynae blindly remove that one layer in your uterus. Rasa macam sedih sangat because I don't have my mom with me right now. My mom would have know what to do. I would have follow her advice all along because I trust her. She's my mom and she was a nurse for her whole life. But maybe, she wasn't here right now because if she's here, she might be extremely susah hati dan sedih because of this. Maybe that's why.

Ya Allah, tempatkanlah ibu ku dalam golongan yang diberkati dan dicucuri rahmat-Mu. Ameen.